As The Hour of Your Death Approaches...

Esteemed Mortal: As you take that journey down the slow winding road towards the afterlife know that I am waiting for you at the end of that road. As you reach the middle of the road you will begin to feel my pull grow stronger. Your heartbeat will quickin, your body will begin to deteriorate, and everything you love will disappear. Until then try to have fun, but remember, death is waiting. Ezra

Monday, April 17, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASSOVER BUNNY!


Esteemed Mortal:
Happy belated Easter, and Passover! You know, it is a a common misconception that Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus. It is true that Mr. Christ was resurrected, however this happened in the summer. Jesus was resurrected on July 8th to be exact, so he could help the apostles Peter, and John win the annual Jerusalem Sand Castle Competition. After they received the trophy for first place, and after he attended the "Last Luau" Jesus went back to his grave. What Easter celebrates is the birthday of SIR EASTER BUNNY, and Passover celebrates his less famous cousin the PASSOVER BUNNY's birthday. To tell their ages would be a sin. I had a bleak Easter. People will pay...they know who they are. I had this big Easter party, and somebody, we'll call her P. Hilton tried to crash it. I called the cops, and they arrived promptly to drag her out. She begged, and pleaded with me to allow her to stay, but I had to kick her out. The last time she came to one of my parties P stole all of my shoes. Well I must go prepare for a funeral. I am so excited, I'm tingling all over!
***XOXO***
Ezra

Monday, April 10, 2006

St. Magdalen of Canossa


Esteemed Mortal:
Today is the 94th anniversary of the Titanic's glorious maiden voyage! I was on that ship, luckily, while he was escorting various travelers to the next world my close friend, the ANGEL OF DEATH dropped me off on the shore. Oh yes, he does fly. I want to wish my dear Russian friends, and fiends, a happy belated Victory Day. I'm sorry that I could not be there to celebrate with you. I would also like to wish the diabolical Mandy Moore a happy Birthday. She is twenty two years young. We used to be BFF until she beat me for the roll of Jamie Sullivan in "A Walk To Remember."
***XOXO***
Ezra

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Your life is not over


Esteemed Mortal:
I shall now be offering advice, of any sort, to those in need. You may find yourself asking "How can I partake in Ezra's wisdom?" Well let me tell you. Simply
email me, and I shall post an entry with my advice to you included in it. I specialize in love advice, though I am willing to try my hand at solving all of your problems, because that is just the kind of caring fellow I am. The picture above illustrates my caring, and how I protect all the little people from their own idiocy. I used to work as a family, and couples therapist. I quit however to get into the business of...well never mind. So today one of my rivals is celebrating her birthday. This most wicked woman is 150 years old today. Her name is Myrtle Hartless, but you probably know her as Jamie Lynn Spears. Miss Hartless is in the business of eating babies.
***XOXO***
Ezra

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I AM THE REINCARNATION OF...


Esteemed Mortal:
...YO MAMA! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! Did Noah, from the flood, have a last name? Who knows, maybe the man was like Cher. If you know please tell me. I fear that I have not been studying my bible for the past few decades. Do you realize what today would have, could have, might have been!? The 45th wedding anniversary of Tammy Faye, and Jimmy Bakker. I was never a big fan of Jimmy's though. I've always been more of a Jimmy Swaggart fan. An interesting fact about Mr. Swaggart is that he is the cousin of Jerry Lee Lewis. Happy Birthday to my dearest home boy Otto Von Bismarck! Otto is 191 years young today, and still just as sexy as ever! Also I would like to wish Mr Lon Cheney a Happy Birthday, and let him know that I am keeping the dream alive. Well I have a game of poker this evening to attend. It is being hosted by the Arizona Skinwalker. I will probably win every hand, as always. You know, I feel very safe knowing that Gary Glitter is behind bars, where he belongs. Goodbye!
***XOXO***
Ezra

Friday, March 31, 2006

BIRTH OF THE COOLER THAN YOU

Esteemed Mortal:
I receive many letters each day from my admirers, and one question that I am persistently asked is how did I get my online nickname, Lesboudoir. The answer is quite simple. You see I had a dear friend named Leslie. Everyone called him Les for short. Anyways Les was quite a whore, so all of his friends referred to him as "Les Boudoir" behind his back. He tragically died in a freak axicent. As a tribute I began calling myself Les Boudoir, so that his name might live on in infamy. Happy birthday Rene Descartes! He is 410 years young today. I shall see you at the next Southern Decadence festival Rene! Well I must be off. I am attending a birthday party for Miss Pharoah Morgana Harvey.
***XOXO***

Ezra

Friday, March 24, 2006

BEWARE!


Esteemed Mortal:
I have been much too busy lately to update, but never fear, for I shall return shortly. When I see fit, I shall come and announce other birthdays. I alone know whom they shall be. Well, as I am cold and crave the warmth of my native Tartarus, and it is about time I leave your earthly home, I will cease my discourse. I have been, am and will be the worst spirit that ever existed either in fact or realm of fancy.
***XOXO***
Ezra

Thursday, March 23, 2006

MY BOOGIE SHOES

Esteemed Mortal:
Happy Memorial Day to all of my Bolivian friends, and foes! And a wonderful, magical, birthday to the eternally beautiful JOAN CRAWFORD!. I have Sent flowers to her grave, like I do every year. She would be 102 years young today if she had not perished in the decadent 1970's. Poor Joan was too good for this horrid world! It makes me sad children it does. There is however one cure for Ezra's blues. I simply put on an inspirational cd. Currently I find the CD "PCD" by The Pussycat Dolls inspirational. It takes my spirit to soaring new heights, and brings it back down to this planet. Thank the lord some people are still dedicated to making meaningful music! My favorite song on the entire CD is "Don't Cha". It is the most heartwrenching song of the past decade.
***XOXO***
Ezra


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