As The Hour of Your Death Approaches...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASSOVER BUNNY!

2006-04-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Happy belated Easter, and Passover! You know, it is a a common misconception that Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus. It is true that Mr. Christ was resurrected, however this happened in the summer. Jesus was resurrected on July 8th to be exact, so he could help the apostles Peter, and John win the annual Jerusalem Sand Castle Competition. After they received the trophy for first place, and after he attended the "Last Luau" Jesus went back to his grave. What Easter celebrates is the birthday of SIR EASTER BUNNY, and Passover celebrates his less famous cousin the PASSOVER BUNNY's birthday. To tell their ages would be a sin. I had a bleak Easter. People will pay...they know who they are. I had this big Easter party, and somebody, we'll call her P. Hilton tried to crash it. I called the cops, and they arrived promptly to drag her out. She begged, and pleaded with me to allow her to stay, but I had to kick her out. The last time she came to one of my parties P stole all of my shoes. Well I must go prepare for a funeral. I am so excited, I'm tingling all over!
***XOXO***
Ezra

St. Magdalen of Canossa

2006-04-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Today is the 94th anniversary of the Titanic's glorious maiden voyage! I was on that ship, luckily, while he was escorting various travelers to the next world my close friend, the ANGEL OF DEATH dropped me off on the shore. Oh yes, he does fly. I want to wish my dear Russian friends, and fiends, a happy belated Victory Day. I'm sorry that I could not be there to celebrate with you. I would also like to wish the diabolical Mandy Moore a happy Birthday. She is twenty two years young. We used to be BFF until she beat me for the roll of Jamie Sullivan in "A Walk To Remember."
***XOXO***
Ezra

Your life is not over

2006-04-04T12:08:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:
I shall now be offering advice, of any sort, to those in need. You may find yourself asking "How can I partake in Ezra's wisdom?" Well let me tell you. Simply email me, and I shall post an entry with my advice to you included in it. I specialize in love advice, though I am willing to try my hand at solving all of your problems, because that is just the kind of caring fellow I am. The picture above illustrates my caring, and how I protect all the little people from their own idiocy. I used to work as a family, and couples therapist. I quit however to get into the business of...well never mind. So today one of my rivals is celebrating her birthday. This most wicked woman is 150 years old today. Her name is Myrtle Hartless, but you probably know her as Jamie Lynn Spears. Miss Hartless is in the business of eating babies.
***XOXO***
Ezra

I AM THE REINCARNATION OF...

2006-04-01T16:17:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
...YO MAMA! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY! Did Noah, from the flood, have a last name? Who knows, maybe the man was like Cher. If you know please tell me. I fear that I have not been studying my bible for the past few decades. Do you realize what today would have, could have, might have been!? The 45th wedding anniversary of Tammy Faye, and Jimmy Bakker. I was never a big fan of Jimmy's though. I've always been more of a Jimmy Swaggart fan. An interesting fact about Mr. Swaggart is that he is the cousin of Jerry Lee Lewis. Happy Birthday to my dearest home boy Otto Von Bismarck! Otto is 191 years young today, and still just as sexy as ever! Also I would like to wish Mr Lon Cheney a Happy Birthday, and let him know that I am keeping the dream alive. Well I have a game of poker this evening to attend. It is being hosted by the Arizona Skinwalker. I will probably win every hand, as always. You know, I feel very safe knowing that Gary Glitter is behind bars, where he belongs. Goodbye!
***XOXO***
Ezra

BIRTH OF THE COOLER THAN YOU

2006-03-31T22:09:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
I receive many letters each day from my admirers, and one question that I am persistently asked is how did I get my online nickname, Lesboudoir. The answer is quite simple. You see I had a dear friend named Leslie. Everyone called him Les for short. Anyways Les was quite a whore, so all of his friends referred to him as "Les Boudoir" behind his back. He tragically died in a freak axicent. As a tribute I began calling myself Les Boudoir, so that his name might live on in infamy. Happy birthday Rene Descartes! He is 410 years young today. I shall see you at the next Southern Decadence festival Rene! Well I must be off. I am attending a birthday party for Miss Pharoah Morgana Harvey.
***XOXO***
Ezra

BEWARE!

2006-03-24T20:14:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
I have been much too busy lately to update, but never fear, for I shall return shortly. When I see fit, I shall come and announce other birthdays. I alone know whom they shall be. Well, as I am cold and crave the warmth of my native Tartarus, and it is about time I leave your earthly home, I will cease my discourse. I have been, am and will be the worst spirit that ever existed either in fact or realm of fancy.
***XOXO***
Ezra

MY BOOGIE SHOES

2006-03-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Happy Memorial Day to all of my Bolivian friends, and foes! And a wonderful, magical, birthday to the eternally beautiful JOAN CRAWFORD!. I have Sent flowers to her grave, like I do every year. She would be 102 years young today if she had not perished in the decadent 1970's. Poor Joan was too good for this horrid world! It makes me sad children it does. There is however one cure for Ezra's blues. I simply put on an inspirational cd. Currently I find the CD "PCD" by The Pussycat Dolls inspirational. It takes my spirit to soaring new heights, and brings it back down to this planet. Thank the lord some people are still dedicated to making meaningful music! My favorite song on the entire CD is "Don't Cha". It is the most heartwrenching song of the past decade.
***XOXO***
Ezra

ESTEEMED BLITZER!

2006-03-22T23:07:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortals:
I took a quiz recently that I highly recommend. I was the Devil. Curious? Here is a link you can click on to take the quiz yourself.Today I would like to wish my Good pal Wolf Blitzer a happy Birthday! Unfortunately he shares the anniversary of his birth with a most unsavoury fellow. Of course I am talking about Andrew Lloyd Webber, may he rot in Hell. Let's just say he used to stalk me. I woke up one morning and found him passed out on my porch in a puddle of his own puke. Then he wrote some pathetic musical about my life and performed it in front of my house using nothing but a synthesizer. That is when the police dragged him off. I have no idea what has become of him. Both him, and Wolfie, are 58 years young today. So did you all like my perfume add? I'm glad you liked it. It will be hitting stores on May 30th. I know who you are, and where you live. If you do not buy my perfume I will kill you. Good Day.
***XOXO***
Ezra

The Smell Of Fear

2006-03-19T18:43:00.000-08:00

"Smell My World"

HOW JESUS GOT HIS GROOVE BACK

2006-03-19T17:42:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
I received an email from my Granny today informing me that a whales member weighs one ton. How obscene of her. I think that I might just have her smothered while she sleeps. I spoke to Jesus this afternoon, he says hi. He wanted me tell you all something. He has decided not to come back. Something has come up. He says sorry, and to make it up to you he's going to ask his Father to lay off on the famine, and war stuff. I understand that you must be upset, but you needn't worry, for I have some spectacular news! At the end of May I will be launching my all new fragrance line. It is called "Ezrotic". I will post a picture of the advertisement above this entry. Well I must be going now. I shall write more later. Before I go I want to wish a happy birthday to my good old frenemy Wyatt earp. He is 158 years young today.
***XOXO***
Ezra

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!

2006-03-18T20:04:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Happy St. Patricks Day! I realize that it is "technically" over, but it is still St. Patty's Day in my heart. Speaking of St. Patrick's Day, did you know that leprechauns are real? Do not question this. I do not wish to commit murder over this controversial topic again. I know this because I had a leprechaun for a roommate while I was attending Texas A&M in TEXARKANA. He was a disdainful little fellow. He ate my food, left his dirty underwear lying around the place, was often late with his half of the rent, made long distance calls to Ireland, then refused to pay the phone bill, and would throw wild parties while I was trying to study. The little devil almost got us evicted! I believe his name was Seamus O'Riley. Seamus had worked as a coke dealer in Little Rock before moving to TEXARKANA to attend University. He came from the wrong side of the tracks, and even had two cousins in prison. One was a retarded fellow I believe. Anyways Seamus never graduated. He dropped out four years ago, and now manages a Burger King in New Boston TX, and he also has herpes. Well I must be going. Please resist the urge to kill yourself, for I will return...Some day.
***XOXO***
Ezra

Look What You've Done...

2006-03-14T21:28:00.000-08:00

Uh oh. Now Heads are going to roll!
***XOXO***
Ezra

A Very Famous Pair of Gloves!

2006-03-12T18:11:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Good day to you my fiends! I cannot write much today, for I am giving a party in Miss Liza Minnelli's honor tonight. She is 60 years young today! Before I go I would also like to wish a Happy Birthday to my dear friend Jack. He would be 84 today, if he had not perished long ago. Until we meet again remember that I have been, am and will be the worst spirit that ever existed either in fact or realm of fancy.
***XOXO***
Ezra

Lucifer's Spa

2006-03-11T13:21:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Good day to you. I woke up this morning with a demon sitting on the end of my bed. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, and took a closer look. It was indeed a demon. I asked him what he wanted, and he simply said, "I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of splenda. I'm making cookies, and I'm afraid I have run out." Needless to say I supplied this demon with the necessary sweetener, and he was on his way. What a delightful fellow! I am looking forward to my eventual stay in Hell! Do not get me wrong, I am a saint. I will not be going there after my demise. I am going on a vacation to Hell this August. I hear that bathing in the lakes of fire is exquisite for your skin. I have some sad news. Today is Benji, and Joel Maden's birthday. They are the infamous twins from that diabolical pop outfit "Good Charlotte." May it be their last! I do not have a rat squirrel yet, but that does not matter. For that ship has sailed! I have a midget now for my pet. I have named him Chuckles. He likes it when I comb his hair, and feed him kibble. I must be going now. I have to perform some miracles!
***XOXO***
Ezra

The Infamous Rat Squirrel

2006-03-10T18:05:00.000-08:00

Hello my darlings. I have made myself very busy since I returned from THE MINES. I am trying to single handedly bring down the Wal Mart Corporation, and finish doing my laundry. I want a rat squirrel for a pet. If you know where to purchase one please let me know. I am a very lonely spirit, and desperately need some companionship. Happy birthday to my pal Bix Beiderbecke! He is 103 years young today. Last night we talked, using a ouija board. He informed me that he is making a comeback. He did not want to have to do it, but music is in such a deplorable state these days Bix felt that he had no choice. His first order of business upon returning to the world of music is rescue jazz from the clutches of Diana Krall, and supremely sinister Michael Buble. Also I would like to wish my ex boyfriend Osama a happy birthday. Hopefully he will one day achieve his dream of writing a hit Broadway musical, and be able to give up terrorism. Well I must go, I have spiders to feed, and socks to wash. I will talk to you all later.
***XOXO***
Ezra

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST CHINGY!

2006-03-09T14:33:00.000-08:00

Esteemed Mortal:

I have returned from the coal mines where I was being held captive for the past ten month's. I must leave you now to go shower, and watch Passions. Never fear, I shall be back soon. Happy Birthday to my dear friend Chingy. A classically trained musician, and tireless philanthropist! Oh, and me, and Jose are over. He's sort of gone...underground. For the time being anyways!
***XOXO***
Ezra

TEXARKANA

2005-05-06T15:54:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:

Today we celebrate two very different birthdays. You have my dear lover, Rudolph Valentino, who is 110 years young this fine day, and Tony Blair, a useless sack of horse manure who is 52 years OLD today. I met mr Blair once, at a party thrown by my ex, Indrid Cold, and I must tell you that the smell was over powering! The man must never bathe! He kept grabbing my body in inappropriate places ,and making double entendres. Finally he stooped so low as to slip a date rape drug in my martini. However your dear friend Ezra sees all, and so I knew better than to take another sip. The silver lining is that he shall be dead soon, because after all he is much older than he says. I have been in Texarkana , or as it also know AMERICA'S PARIS, all week so unfortunately I have not been able to keep up on my blog. But never fear dearies, I am back, and I am here to stay!
***XOXO***
Ezra

FREE SADDAM HUSSEIN!

2005-04-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Sign my Petition, and free a wonderful man. Saddam needs you. Click HERE to sign.

***XOXO***

Ezra

Happy Birthday Saddam Hussein!

2005-04-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:
Happy birthday to my dear friend, and ex husband, Saddam Hussein! He is a great man, as well as a wise and just ruler, and I hope that he has one heck of a party tonight! Unfortunately I cannot be with him for this birthday, as he is being unjustly detained. I have started a petition to have him released, seeing as how he is a political prisoner. Saddam Hussein is 68 years young this fine day. Other than my dear friend, and ex husband being in custody I am doing exceedingly well. Me and Jose are still seeing eachother, every night. We are getting pretty serious. I think that he may ask me to go steady with him this Saturday. Well I must be going, I have a bridge game in an hour. Bye bye for now.
***XOXO***
Ezra

Cupid's Arrow Has Pierced My Heart!

2005-04-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:

I am in love! This morning as I was out for my five o'clock stroll through the cemetery, your dear friend Ezra met the most amazing man. He was a handsome, well dressed grave digger named Jose. We began to talk, and it turned out that we had a lot of the same interests. He asked me over to his place tonight, and naturally I accepted. I must admit that I am excited at the very prospect of dating a grave digger, imagine how much more easy it will be for me to get corpses for my projects. Things are looking up for Ezra right now, and soon the world shall be mine for the taking!

***XOXO***

Ezra

Pills and Poison

2005-04-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal:

Today I poisoned a man. Sure he is fine, and will make a full recovery, but nobody seems to care that I tried, all they can say is "attempted murder". What about all my effort, all my scheming, not to mention my fragile feelings. Is there no justice in this world? Those bastards. But never mind them, because today I am in high spirits, you see children today is the birthday of a most wonderful woman. Today Miss Barbara Streisand is 63 years young! Miss Streisand's kindness is surpassed only by myself, and the same can be said of her great talents. So naturally I must go bake a cake for this occasion. I have a few fiends gathering at my place, and via satellite. Of course most of them are paper mache, so they will not be eating much. Until tomorrow, toodles!

***XOXO***

Ezra

The Axeman's Letter

2005-04-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hell, March 13, 1919
Esteemed Mortal:
They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the ether that surrounds your earth. I am not a human being, but a spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians and your foolish police call the Axeman.
When I see fit, I shall come and claim other victims. I alone know whom they shall be. I shall leave no clue except my bloody axe, besmeared with blood and brains of he whom I have sent below to keep me company.
If you wish you may tell the police to be careful not to rile me. Of course, I am a reasonable spirit. I take no offense at the way they have conducted their investigations in the past. In fact, they have been so utterly stupid as to not only amuse me, but His Satanic Majesty, Francis Josef, etc. But tell them to beware. Let them not try to discover what I am, for it were better that they were never born than to incur the wrath of the Axeman. I don‘t think there is any need of such a warning, for I feel sure the police will always dodge me, as they have in the past. They are wise and know how to keep away from all harm.
Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a most horrible murderer, which I am, but I could be much worse if I wanted to. If I wished, I could pay a visit to your city every night. At will I could slay thousands of your best citizens, for I am in close relationship with the Angel of Death.
Now, to be exact, at 12:15 (earthly time) on next Tuesday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans. In my infinite mercy, I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:
I am very fond of jazz music, and I swear by all the devils in the nether regions that every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in full swing at the time I have just mentioned. If everyone has a jazz band going, well, then, so much the better for you people. One thing is certain and that is that some of your people who do not jazz it on Tuesday night (if there be any) will get the axe.
Well, as I am cold and crave the warmth of my native Tartarus, and it is about time I leave your earthly home, I will cease my discourse. Hoping that thou wilt publish this, that it may go well with thee, I have been, am and will be the worst spirit that ever existed either in fact or realm of fancy.
The Axeman

Memories of Vladimir..Reflections on Marilyn.

2005-04-23T13:42:00.000-07:00

Esteemed Mortal,

Today I am sad. I cannot help but think of my dear departed friend Vladimir Nabokov, who would have been 106 years young this very day, were he still alive. I woke up at around noon, I made some coffee, carved up a body, and watched True Hollywood Story. Did you know that Marilyn Monroe left out the word obey in her vows when she married Joe DiMaggio? Your dear friend Ezra and Miss Monroe have quite a bit in common. The similarities are startling! Well I must go, I have letters to write and experiments to perform, but never fear darlings! I shall return.
***XOXO***

Ezra

As The Hour of Your Death Approaches...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASSOVER BUNNY!

St. Magdalen of Canossa

Your life is not over

I AM THE REINCARNATION OF...

BIRTH OF THE COOLER THAN YOU

BEWARE!

MY BOOGIE SHOES

ESTEEMED BLITZER!

The Smell Of Fear

HOW JESUS GOT HIS GROOVE BACK

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY!

Look What You've Done...

A Very Famous Pair of Gloves!

Lucifer's Spa

The Infamous Rat Squirrel

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST CHINGY!

**TEXARKANA**

FREE SADDAM HUSSEIN!

Happy Birthday Saddam Hussein!

Cupid's Arrow Has Pierced My Heart!

Pills and Poison

The Axeman's Letter

Memories of Vladimir..Reflections on Marilyn.

TEXARKANA